Just read MB's blog, and I'm so glad to know I'm not a freak, because I too cried while watching "Return of the King." There were a few parts that got me, but I think the main one was when...oh, maybe I shouldn't say, in case people haven't seen it yet. I'll just say it's toward the end and involves Frodo. I haven't read the books, so I had no idea what was going to happen. We rented "Fellowship of the Ring" and "Two Towers" last week, and I had to know what happened, so we went to the movies on Christmas. Plus, I wanted to see Aragorn on the big screen... And one of the previews was for "Prisoner of Azkaban," so it was a kick-ass evening.

We had a very nice Christmas, aside from the migraine Santa brought me on Christmas Eve. As soon as we got to my grandparents' house I had to lie down with an ice pack on my forehead. Dave says I was in hiding for about two hours. I think I almost froze my left eye, but that's OK. I'm sending a big shout out to everyone who came in to check on me, and to myself for not puking on Grandpa & Ruth's bed.

On Christmas Day, we made our very first turkey, and it was go-od! Nothing like the one in "Christmas Vacation," which Dave was a little worried about. Sugar Puddin' started going nuts before it was even in the oven, which is always amusing. She got her little bit of Christmas turkey, and didn't even puke it up like she's been known to do when she eats meat too fast. Silly kitty!

One of the presents I got from "the cats" was Simpson's Road Rage for the gamecube. It's great, because you're supposed to drive like you're drunk! Sometimes you get a bonus if you destroy enough stuff, and they say some hi-larious things when you crash or run over people. Imagine Homer saying "I'm not a very good driver" in a low voice or shouting "I have no insurance!" or Mayor Quimby saying "You drive worse than cousin Teddy!" (For those of you who aren't familiar with the Simpsons, Quimby sounds very Kennedy-esque) We've been cracking ourselves up since Thursday.

That's all for now. Buh-bye!

*BURN UPDATE* Yup, still there.

Damn, but I ramble. They should have word limits, or something.

Look out mom, there's bad words in this one...

Damn baby, whad-joo do to yo hair? (a la seance scene in "Ghost") I ripped it out in chunks 'cause this week frigging sucked! I don't even know where to start; I should have blogged more this week. Guess I suck too. Anyway, we'll start with Tuesday. Took the car to the dealer (big mistake) to get the heater fixed and see about getting the windows (I just typed winders in case you were wondering...random redneckness) fixed because the front two are screwed. Driver's side will go up and down, but there's a funny grinding noise once it gets to a certain point, and when I close the door something inside the door bangs. Passenger's side will go down but not up. Fast-forward to Wednesday, when they tell us it will be almost $1,000 to fix everything. Buh-bye. Just fix the heater, you money-sucking whores. Thanks. Pick up the car Thursday, the passenger side window (dammit, did it again!) is not closed all the way so there's a lovely whistling as I'm driving and I HATE that. They've shoved some cardboard in at the bottom of the window, presumably to keep it from sliding open, but it didn't work. It moved, and now there's a little gap letting all the snow in. I will be taking the car back to the dealer and demanding that they at least return the window to the position it was in when I first took the car in. Mr. Findlay Ford/Lincoln/Mercury fat cat better hope I don't ever run into him.

So I get home from the dealer, watch some soaps, try to get hold of someone at the Western Reserve museum (I was going to do a story on a nifty exhibit there), then prepare to head to the mall to get a wedding gift for a friend of Dave's. I was also going to get a dress for the wedding, because I got my Christmas bonus Wednesday. I call the happy bank 800 number to check the balance on the checking account, and learned that I really fucked up. We had less than $150 in our account - after my paycheck was deposited, which was almost $600 - and we had four insufficient funds charges of almost $30 each. I was in total shock! I've never done anything like that before, and I still can't figure out how it happened. So then I freaked out and curled up in bed and cried for about an hour. Freaked Dave out when he got home. I felt and still feel like an ass, but sometimes when you start a cry-fest, you start thinking about other things and cry more and you just can't stop.

Luckily Dave got paid Friday, so it's all OK now.

On a lighter note, another dilemma this week was what do you get a millionaire for a wedding gift? He doesn't need your money or a gift card, and anything they need he can buy. I trudged through the mall Friday, and found the holiday kiosk of an area family-owned gift basket business, and they made up a basket with a wedding time capsule. I think it's pretty nifty myself. My parents got us one of those when we got married, and it was fun to put stuff in there. Trouble is, we're not going to the wedding now 'cause it's today in Cleveland, and we're afraid a big ol' lake-effect storm might blow in. It's a little snowy here in O-hi-o. So no wedding, and no museum trip, so no fun staff-written travel story for next week's paper. Thank god for the Associated Press.

I'm thinking after a fun-filled day of cleaning we may rent the first "Lord of the Rings" movie. They seem interesting, and everyone seems to be crazy about them, so I think I'll give it a shot.

A nice thing happened this week though. I found out that I amuse at least one person other than my friends and family, who have to at least pretend I amuse them. The good RevSpork discovered this here ass, and linked it on his page! Woo-hoo! I'm going to have to return the favor, whenever I get around to making changes on my page.

*BURN UPDATE* General consensus in the Haus-hold says that bitch is gonna scar. I can't believe I'm so estupido!

Ever wonder what Harry Potter would be like drunk? Well, come watch me play "Harry Potter" on our new Gamecube thingy. Watch as Harry the Alcoholic runs into walls! Watch as Harry the Alcoholic runs into people! Watch as Harry the Alcoholic runs into furniture! Some of you may know about the 17-F-er OSU game...well I put that to shame in a matter of a couple hours. But I am determined to figure this game out, no matter how long it takes. I'm just glad we forgot to buy a memory card.

Obviously I'm not a whiz with the video games - at least not the story-type games. Give me a puzzle game, I'm good to go, though. Just makes me think of the good old days, when Nintendo first came out. For a while, all we had was Mario, Duck Hunt and a track & field thing with a mat that you ran in place on. Then there was Tetris, and my beloved Bubble Bobble. That game kicked ass!

I really took a trip down toy memory lane when I read MB's blog. She mentioned FashionPlates and Lite Brite, and I was gone. Kids were so much more easily amused when I was little...slap a few pieces of plastic with raised pictures on them in a slot, put a piece of paper over it, rub the crayon over it and Voila! You're a fashion designer! For those of you too young or old to know of the FashionPlates, or for those of you of the wrong gender, I'll explain. There were tons of plastic "plates" with a different third of an outfit on it - I think that's how it went anyway, maybe it was halves. Anyway, you mix and match the pieces to create an outfit, and put the pieces into the holder. Like I said before, the outfits are raised up so that when you put the paper on top and rub the big crayon over it, you ended up with a picture of your new fashion design. Then you could color it in.

So compare nice simple toys like that to today's toys, and there's no comparison. Ours were better.

Back to the present. It started snowing while we were at dinner. I was not happy. We went and priced our new toy at Wal-Mart, and then went to Meijer, where we bought our new toy. After we left Meijer, I realized we should have bought more juice, so we decided to stop at Kroger. As I was turning onto a little side road to go to Kroger, we had some major fishtailing and almost hit another car. Not fun. But we got our juice and made the trip home safely with no other near misses.

BTW, I want everyone to know that I am highly upset because Meijer (or at least Findlay's Meijer) no longer has the Meijer-brand lotion tissues. The other brands suck - one uses too much lotion and leaves your face and hands greasy, another one doesn't even feel like there's any lotion in it. Meijer's was just right. How Goldilocks. Doesn't Meijer care about people with evil colds that cause sore noses?? Perhaps I'll ask Dave to check BG's Meijer on Monday. I'm in crisis!

Well, enough rambling. I've got to go scoop the poop before Sugar flings something out for me.

*BURN UPDATE* Still a pink line. I'm seriously wondering if it's going to scar. How stupid would that be?

Well, I got my big fat Mojo blanket the other night. And last night. And the big fat Mojo blanket's newest thing is to lay on my back and try to get his whole face in my left ear. It's quite tickly. His other new thing is when Dave is rubbing the Mojo belly, Mojo pets Dave's arm and hand. I have yet to witness this, but I'm pretty sure it'll look as odd as it sounds.

A wise woman (MB) once told me in an e-mail "Colds may suck, but Jebus doesn't." I whole-heartedly agreed, until Jebus almost brought the Christmas tree crashing down. She came flying into the living room, came to a stop, jumped sideways into the bottom branches of the tree - as in hitting the tree with her side - and then ran under the swaying tree. What the hell? She is such a schitz when that tree is up; she likes to chew on the branches, and I think there must be some crazy-ass chemical on them or something.

Sadly, those are pretty much the highlights of the last couple days. Oh, we did discover that we have not "lost" a friend of ours; he's still in BG, hasn't been shipped to Iraq or Afghanistan, thank God. That made for a good day.

Other than that, nothing. Sorry.

*BURN UPDATE* Still a pink line.

Had a bit of a sore throat Monday night/Tuesday morning when I went to bed. Woke up with a worse sore throat and some serious nausea from the snot drainage. I think it's safe to say I have a full-fledged cold, as I've been doing a lot of sneezing, and I currently have one-nostril breathing. This sucks.

So, the whole system crashed at work tonight (Tuesday night). We're talking newsroom and production. Totally crapped out. We got the paper out, but just barely. It was damn close, too. Didn't get everything posted to the Internet (no news, not all the obits) but that'll be taken care of today. People will be bombarded with e-mails, I'm sure, from people bitching because we didn't update blah blah blah. I say "Shut the hell up and get a subscription to the physical paper you morons!"

I'm freezing. I need a big fat Mojo blanket.

*BURN UPDATE* No more funky Band-aid skin, and the burn is still a nice shiny pink line. I wish it would go away.

FYI, spell check wanted to change newsroom to mushroom; would that make us smurfs?

Made it back from Athens alive. I probably should have mentioned that I don't take 23 or I-270 to get there, since that whole sniper thing is going on in Columbus right now. Sorry to anyone who was worried. Anyway, we had a lovely but short visit. Ate good food, played cards and Uno Attack, made the dogs wear a fez, did some shopping.

Hung out with Papa and Pammy and puppies for a while before I trekked back home. I thought the Papa was kidnapped when we first got there, because the groceries and mail were still in his truck, but he was nowhere to be found. Ellie and the Budman were gone too, but the puppies were there - seven in the box, one escapee in the kitchen. We made our way out to the barn and found the missing ones. I felt silly, but what are you gonna do?

Those puppies are something else! When I got back from taking Jessica home, all eight of them were out and running around, causing mayhem. One kept following Buddy and nipping at his tail, which he did not enjoy; some liked my jeans and shoestrings; one got hold of a skein of yarn and shook it around until the puppy knocked itself over; one had an identity crisis and was playing with a ball of yarn; and there was much ear-pulling and tumbling all around. Luckily Dad took some video, so I can watch it again next time we're down there.

After that, I met Jen in Marion for dinner. It was so nice to see my Henny Penny! She had to go to Meijer, and I didn't really want to leave yet, so I went with. I actually got some Christmas shopping done.

I took Friday off from work. I wanted to feel semi-productive, so I hauled the Christmas decorations out, and I do mean hauled. They were buried in a closet, and it was damn tough to get them out. We put the tree up, but didn't decorate it until Sunday. I was just too tired!

Saturday I went to lunch and did some more Christmas shopping with Nadia. Much fun was had. I only have a couple more things to get, and then I'm done. Woo-hoo!! When I got back from shopping, Dave and I went out to dinner. I had a headache due to sinus issues and needing to eat, so of course we got to sit right behind the screaming 2-year-old. He was literally screaming into the back of my head. I was pretty happy. After dinner we went to Meijer and got "The Wedding Singer," went home, and watched it. I highly recommend it!

Sunday we decorated the tree, as I said before, and I headed back to work. Oh, I scooped the poop, too. Can't forget that.

Sadly, with those four lovely days off, I did not catch up on sleep. In fact, I think I'm even more behind.

My next mission, and I have no choice but to accept it, is to finish the Christmas cards. Bleh. I love you all, but 80 cards is just too much.

*BURN UPDATE* Band-aid marks are probably visible only to me now. Burn is a lovely shiny pink line. I wonder if I should still be putting my Burn Stuff on it?

Going down to A-town in the morning, with Jessica serving as my road-trip companion and navigator. Should be a fun time, even though I'm getting up at the butt crack of dawn (for me anyway). Because of that, I'm not writing any more so I can try and get a least a few hours of sleep.

*BURN UPDATE* Band-aid marks now very dry, weird skin. Scab almost all gone but there's still a pink line. I hope it doesn't scar.

Bleh. Just spent way too much time fighting with that stupid Web site. Things look way different in the page design program than they do on the actual site.

On the up side, I have some damn funny friends, for which I am grateful. Without them, life would truly be hell. I was going through my ooooold e-mails and found some highly amusing material from Joy, Jen and several others. Also rediscovered the e-mail version of the Reed Street quote boards, which inspired me to add the newest page to the site. I about wet myself going through some of the e-mails.

Dyed my hair Thursday while at Papa & Pammer's house. I was so mad because it doesn't look to me like the hair underneath got any dye, but it turns out it doesn't matter. Apparently no one can even tell it's been dyed!

Dave and I went out and played pool Saturday night. It was fun, until the idiot group showed up. They felt the need to stand way too close to our table, making it not so easy to make shots from that end of the table. I really wanted to ram the stick into them, but I held back. Oh, and the belching brothers were at the table next to us. When you can hear someone belch in Miss Cue's, that's a problem. God, I hate people. (Kurt, if you read this, don't break into "People, people who hate people, are the luckiest people..." the next time I see you)

Finally bought some Christmas presents while I was grocery shopping after work tonight. I hate Christmas shopping. Personally, I think people should be happy if they get a swift kick in the ass, but that's never good enough. Oh well.

*BURN UPDATE* Band-aid marks slowly fading. Worst part of burn still painful, outer parts getting better. It's no longer red and violent-looking. Starting to get a little itchy. How long do you think I can keep this up?

Mmmmm just finished a piece of apple pie from the Thanksgiving feast. I think we usually end up bringing at least half a pie home, and this year was no exception. We have to bring the apple home though, because somebody *cough*Dave*cough* doesn't like pumpkin.

I was going to go shopping with Nadia today, but we're pushing it back to next Saturday. Crazy pregnant lady thought she could do two days of shopping in a row! (Remember Nadia, you told me I could call you that) But that's OK, because I need to clean the apartment. They're coming on Tuesday to inspect our heater, and I don't want to get kicked out for being a fire hazard or something. We have to lock the cats up while they're here, which will be oh so pleasant.

Speaking of the cats, Mojo's newest thing is attacking the flower arrangement next to one of the speakers in the living room. It's been a part of the decor since we found him, but he has apparently only just noticed it. He's such a gem.

And Sugar was up my ass today begging for turkey. We made the mistake a couple years ago of giving her a little bit of our Christmas dinner, and ever since then she begs shamelessly for whatever meat you're eating. She even gets excited over bacon before it's even cooked! She's funny though. She has to lick all the salt off before she'll eat it, and today she licked it right off the little TV tray onto the floor. She got all crazy because it fell too close to my shoe and she didn't think she could get to it. Didn't think of going around to the other side I guess.

*BURN UPDATE* Beckett's bartender's band-aid took more skin. No more band-aids for me. Burn is still nice and red, with a lovely scab. Dave made me get something to put on it, so I got something called "Burn Stuff." They also make "Cut Stuff." The box says "Because burns aren't cuts and cuts aren't burns..." Marketing genius, I tell you. The box should also say "WARNING: Our 'Stuff' smells like ass."

Heading down to Papa & Pammer's sometime today. Gotta finish making part of Kim's birthday present yet, and shower. Good thing I didn't have a hangover when I got up today, or we might have never made it down there.

Went out with a couple of Dave's friends last night, something I rarely get to do since I have to work on Tuesdays - they play pool on Tuesday nights. There's a new place in Bowling Green called Beckett's, where SamB's used to be. A huge improvement on the property, if you ask me.

Had a tremendous time, but lost count on the drinks. But that's OK, because I had a lot of fun. I love pool, but I don't get to play very often, and I suck big time, but that's OK too.

Well, back to the birthday project.

*BURN UPDATE* Band-aid mark almost gone, but burn is still nasty. Managed to scrape it last night while pulling up my sleeve, requiring me to beg a band-aid from the bartender. It hurts.

Have you seen my new shoes? They're not made out of wood! (A little shout out to the Pammer on that one)

I noticed Sunday night at work that I had a hole inside my shoe. Not in the shoe, like you could see it, but in the sole inside the shoe. I was quite distraught. Not just because I really like those shoes, but because I just bought a new pair of shoes like a month ago. As most of you know, I'm not a big fan of spending the money. Don't do shopping sprees, try not to buy too many needless things.

It all started when I went to find my tennis shoes. Summer is over, and I can't run around in my Hirachis anymore. So I dug them out of the closet, and discovered some web-looking things in them. Sounds bad, I know, but I haven't worn them in months! Well, I was afraid that spiders were living in them, so I decided to go buy some new tennis shoes.

Then it hit me. I don't think I've ever bought my own tennis shoes. I may be wrong, I may be forgetting a pair somewhere along the line, but I don't think I am. And chances are if I have bought a pair, the money, in reality, came from mom & dad. So not only have I not had a new pair of tennis shoes in like 10 years, (real tennis shoes, not cheap-ass Keds wannabes), I've never bought them with my very own hard-earned money. WTF?

But hey, I love those shoes! My comfy black sambas with the three white stripes. I had no reason to buy tennis shoes until now. They probably have another 10 years in them, but there's that possible spider thing...

Anyway, off to the mall I went, knowing exactly what I wanted. Shoes just like the old ones, only blue! Just one problem. They don't exist! I don't know what I was thinking. After 10 years they're going to have the exact same little soccer-type shoes on the market? Yeah, right. I may not like change, but the rest of the world sure does. I was not happy.

The other thing that ticked me off was that I was apparently invisible to sales people. I went in three stores, didn't even get a hello. One of the stores I was in, a manly athletic-type place, was truly terrible. I walked the perimeter of the store twice, picked shoes up, went back and forth between a few pairs, and nothing. I was pissed! I wanted to tell them that round people wear tennis shoes too, but instead I glared at them and left.

As I passed a fourth store, I saw my new shoes. Not just like my old ones, but pretty damn close. But I vowed that if I was ignored, there would be no new shoes. Luckily, the girl working said hello as soon as I stepped in. I said hello, and that I was going to buy shoes from her because she was the only one to acknowledge me all day. She probably thought I was nuts, but who cares?

So I got my new blue shoes (had to special order them, no shoes small enough at the store) and they arrived in the mail a week later. I was so excited I had to show everyone at work. Pathetic, yes, but it's a milestone ... or something.

My second pair of new shoes, not such a big deal. Just some lovely leather loafer-type things. I like them, but I've bought work shoes before, so no milestones there.

*BURN UPDATE* Now more red and violent-looking, with a nice little scab where I gouged it. The band-aid mark is fainter, but still visible.

Woke up this morning, had no frigging idea what day it was. Thought it was Friday, but Golden Girls wasn't on. Then I remembered that Dave was golfing, not at class, and realized it's Sunday. This does not bode well for the rest of the day.

I think my confusion stems from the trauma of burning my arm on the iron yesterday. I don't think I've ever burned myself this bad on an iron! Usually when my skin touches hot metal I have the sense to move, but I think I had a delayed reaction yesterday. Later I managed to catch it with my thumbnail while turning a sock right-side-out, which felt really good, so I put a big band-aid over it. Didn't feel like tearing the skin off my arm just for a basketful of socks, you see. Anyway, this large band-aid didn't want to come off nicely, so I ripped it (and some dry skin) off, and now there is a big red mark on my arm under the burn.

Gross and pointless story, I know, but now if you see me you won't have to ask. Plus, that was the most exciting thing that happened yesterday. Dave and I were going to go out after dinner, but I was feeling too lazy after hours of laundry. Maybe next weekend.

I finished the book I mentioned in the last rambling - "By the Light of the Moon" by Dean Koontz. I've been looking for that book for I don't know how long. I read an excerpt from it in one of his other books and it sounded interesting - I was hooked by talk of a woman's pet jade plant named Fred. When I went to buy it, I couldn't remember the title, or what book the excerpt was in, and never remembered to go through my books to find it. Finally figured out the title after many months, but every time I was in a bookstore, it wasn't in stock. Meijer just happened to have it the other night so my stupid search is over. It was pretty good, not quite worth my months of irritation, but if you like Koontz's books I would recommend it.

Insomnia Sucks - please note the capital S. Last night I dozed a bit while watching a lovely episode of the Golden Girls (Rose's mother comes to visit, Blanche's aerobics instructor asks her out because she reminds him of his mother). After some twitching from realizing I had dozed and it was way too early to sleep lest I mar my routine, I got up and played some online pool. Went to bed shortly after 2 a.m.

Did I fall asleep? No. It was one of those nights when I was extremely tired, but everything was too loud and drove me nuts. I was breathing too loud, Dave was breathing too loud and Mojo was cleaning himself too loud. I could have sworn he was using sandpaper on something! SCRRRRAPE! SCRRRRAPE! SCRRRRAPE! That cat never cleans himself except when he knows it will bother me.

Anyway, I usually get so aggravated and there's no point in staying in bed, bouncing Dave around with my every toss and turn. This was the case last night, so I got up at 3 a.m. and went to Meijer because we were out of coffee. Got the java, some donuts, one of those bologna-cheese-cracker kits (the name escapes me) and a book, headed home. I figured I'd eat, read a little, and then I would be sufficiently tired to be able to fall asleep despite my hyper-sensitive ears.

Did it work? Let's just say I was up until 7 a.m. I got up at 12:30 - can't miss the soaps on a Friday! Of course, I didn't actually watch them, I taped them. But I didn't go back to bed, that would make too much sense. Should have though, because I think tonight will be more of the same. >:(

Insomnia Sucks.

So the third annual Victoria's Secret skank parade - oh, I'm sorry, fashion show - is on tonight. I'm pretty happy about that.

I mean, it's good to find a way at least once a year to reinforce to the teenage girls that you have to be skinny and tall and have big boobs to be beautiful. And what better way to do that than by airing an underwear show on a major television station? Rock on, CBS!

And it's not just bad for the girls. The boys are having the same ignorant ideals of beauty implanted in their hormone-ridden brains, and those ideas will stick around for a looooong time. I pity the round little girl, or flat-chested little girl who develops a crush in her teens. Teenage boys can be brutal in their mockery, which tears the poor girl down even more.

But I shouldn't be upset about this silly show, because it's on at 10 p.m., and all the young'uns will be asleep.

I know, I know, there are bigger things to worry about. Like what impact Arnold's governorship will have on the Midwest (NONE, so get a life fellow Ohioans), or whether bin Laden is hiding out in California (he's not, he's in Deshler, Ohio). I don't care. This crap promotes low self-esteem - and I'm not even going to get into the objectification of women.

I'm sorry, but until a short fat woman struts her stuff on one of these frigging shows, or until they aren't shown on TV anymore, I will bitch.

Scratch that, I'm not sorry one bit.

Stupid time stamp is screwed up. Let's see if I've fixed it.

Whew, I think I'm done tinkering with things for now. Can't think of anything else to add right now, plus it's 5:18 a.m. I've got to quit staying up so late!

this is crazy

Not much to say right now, just trying to figure it all out. Perhaps tomorrow...or later tonight, but probably not.